By Cynthia Wong
“It was the most precious time I spent with my family. I loved playing games in my Dad’s arm, and I will never forget how fierce my mum became when she saw my papers with the word ‘no comment!’ marked!” recalled Sandra Wong, a 25-year-old mum, “and I would rush to my grandparents straightaway,” she added. This was the childhood most 90’s shared; for “millennium babies” however, they were brought up by “nannies”, not… mommies.
The government’s quota for importing domestic helpers from Guangdong has been oversubscribed, and according to the website of the Human Resource Office, the total number of domestic helpers in 2013 reached 20,000, which is five times of that in the year 2000. The above data indicates the need for domestic helpers is pressing. Moreover, six out of 10 parents work on shifts in casinos or hotels as cited in a census report carried out by economic analysts. They gave up some quality time with their children for a better life or, money indeed. The seed of a new parenting style has been sown.
“I will for sure miss my servant – Maria more than my parents when I am abroad!” said Venus Lei, a form six student who will go to UK for college next year. Domestic helpers are always the “saviors” of working parents because they cannot keep an eye on their children all the time. As time goes by, they gradually take the role of “parents” in children’s mind. Venus explained, “Maria brought me up and I am with her for more than 12 hours per day. I could feel her sincere effort, I consider her part of my family and she is definitely the one who understands me the most.”
To redeem the place in their children’s heart, and to purge the mind from guilt of spending insufficient time with them, working parents dote on their children by offering them whatever they want and they seldom blame their children for behaving inappropriately. Venus said, “I will go to my parents if I want something expensive as they always satisfy my requests; but I will go to Maria when I am bullied or need someone to talk to.” Yet, Venus’ mum, who owns a travel agency in Macao, claimed she is a “good and responsible” mother.
The responsibilities of domestic helpers are to help with housework and manage children’s daily diet, but not to take the role of “parents” as what they are doing nowadays. Parents have to try to understand their children by spending quality time with them and let them know you are doing everything for their sake. Excessive reliance on domestic helpers may make children drift apart from their parents.