Source: My UM
‘We both love music. We came together through music as well as a shared passion for all arts– a love of the aesthetic,’ said Prof Kevin (Kit) Thompson, founding master of Moon Chun Memorial College (MCMC) of the University of Macau (UM), trumpeter, composer and conductor who was invested with the Order of the British Empire in 2011 and knighthood by the French Government in 2012. He moved to Macao last year with his wife, Dr Patricia Anne Thompson, an eminent musician.
Having lived far apart from each other for decades, they now work and live together in the same place and share their lives within a living and learning community with gifted students. Love is an underlying refrain of life and it’s all about those moments of intimacy, companionship and mutuality. In the month of love, Kit and Patricia tell us how their love has evolved.
Keeping the Spark Alive
They’re both from Stratford on Avon, where Shakespeare was born and a new theatre was inaugurated in Patricia’s name in 2012. Their lives were informed by an environment of rich cultural heritage and history. Their way of living life to the full ensures fresh excitement and renewal. ‘We have always enjoyed simple pleasures together, for instance, attending Macau Orchestra concerts, having petit déjeuner French breakfast, keeping fit, and meeting people from different cultures, dispositions and backgrounds,’ said Kit. Before coming to Macao, Prof Thompson was head of the Hong Kong Academy for Performing Arts and now the couple begins a new chapter in their lives. They love to go to Cheoc Van Beach: strolling along coastal paths in winter, and enjoying swimming in summer.
On the day of our interview, the couple greeted us with their infectious smiles and we’re a little surprised to see Patricia as she was about to leave for an appointment for physiotherapy. Patricia slipped and fell on the new campus last September and was confined to hospital for more than a month. ‘My wife is more lionhearted and fearless than might first be recognised; remember what Kipling said of the female of the species! She was badly hurt when I saw her in the hospital. She couldn’t stand, let alone walk, so there’ s been a quite remarkable and extraordinary period of rehabilitation.’ Prof Thompson continued, ‘But then she just looked at me with a quiet confidence and said “I’m fine, please don’t worry. I’ll get better soon”. I admire her stoicism in face of adversity and injury. Nothing seems to beat her.’ Patricia was immensely touched to see Kit visit her every day until she left the hospital.
Living Apart But Being Together
Kit met Patricia when they were under graduates at Music Conservatoire. They kept seeing each other in college but didn’t actually come together until later, their first date being to visit the Malvern Hills, where the British composer Sir Edward Elgar lived. They try to go there at the end of each July on their wedding anniversary. In the past, the couple had their own careers in different parts of the world, nations and continents. ‘It had been a constant of our lives – being far away from, yet there for each other wherever we have found ourselves. Perhaps it was providence. We’re both musicians. Work opportunities dictate one’s locus of activity,’ said Patricia.
Over the Chinese New Year in 1998, the couple decided to meet in Helsinki, Finland. Patricia had been there already attending another conference for a week prior to Prof Thompson’s arrival. Before he left his of fice at Birmingham, his secretary gave him a piece of paper, on which the address of the hotel was written. When he arrived at Helsinki, he found that he had lost the piece of paper. ‘I didn’t know where I was staying, and mobile phones were pretty undeveloped in those days. It was snowing heavily. I looked around and I saw a hotel brightly lit. So I planned to ask the concierge for a list of hotels to see if I could recognise the name of the hotel where Patricia was staying. As I walked through the lobby, a receptionist said, “Sir, your wife is expecting your arrival.” Phew! What a coincidence’, I laughed. It’s the luckiest encounter l have had. Living apart tests the strength and durability of a relationship, and makes it stronger and more enduring. We both value immensely time spent together.’ he said.
Golden Rule: Never Become Self-absorbed
Kit and Patricia are each other ’s critical friends. As professionals, they strive always to seek improvement, and being honest with each other, which is probably the most challenging part. ‘It’s been a remarkable adventure. We do desire to give our students and our audiences our very best. So it’s all about constant reflection for what might be enhanced.
Musicians tend to be very self-critical and that has both pros and cons. If one goes to the extreme, it undermines the performance and one’s psychological well-being. It’s easy to hear and hard to listen sometimes. We’d always try to say something that in the end will assist,’ Prof Thompson paused, looking at Patricia. They both laughed. Being able to overcome differences and exist in each other ’s time and space are vital life skills. ‘In the past, we led lives on separate tables, in separate restaurants but essentially within each other’s thoughts. When you’d lived for a certain period of your life on your own, you become very self-absorbed,” said Patricia. ‘It’s not always straightforward as we’ve both been leaders and viewed in our own right and individually we have strong, from time to time, contradictory personalities. It’s sometimes hard to live together having shared vacation times together because we were both not used to having to think about the other person in the cut and thrust of daily life,’ explained Kit. ‘If you’re on your own, you can decide to work all day and night, you can choose to do what you want, but if you live with another person, it’ s another story.’
‘We have to listen to the tempo and rhythm of life. In all our lives there are certain periods of time which are frenetic. Where we struggle to keep pace and where we need empathic understanding and mutuality of support, Patricia is always by my side, providing support just when one needs it, not too much. Just enough, and judged with an acuity of perception of someone who keeps my sense of self intact,’ Prof Thompson said.
