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Dating apps: Strangers connected by algorithm

Human beings, as a kind of social animal, are always in relationships with the desire for intimacy. When Tinder, an American dating app, launched in 2014, people searched for a partner not only through their acquaintances and websites but also a profile on the Internet and apps. Nowadays, young people tend to use dating apps to meet new friends and begin new relationships. Dating apps based on algorithms have become another mainstream.

Dating agencies created websites which people could subscribe to get suggestions on possible partners based on certain algorithms and extensive questionnaires they have to fill in. With the introduction of smartphones and their applications, online dating has become even easier, more importantly, more socially accepted.

In addition, there are dating apps that focus on smaller communities, trying to connect people of certain common values or interests, for instance, marginalized groups like homosexuals, and ethnic minorities.

In China, there're also some popular dating apps like Tantan and MOMO. These apps explore and suggest people who would match you based on your personal information, location, hobbies, etc.. But interestingly, in the mainland, the use of dating apps is not as extensive and open as in most foreign countries. Many Chinese people think that using dating software is a "shame" and are not willing to let others know that they use it.

Jo: "I will never share my experience of using dating apps in China."

Jo [not real name] went to the United Kingdom to study alone since high school. She wanted to expand her circle of friends, so she started to use dating apps at the age of 19.

The UK is a multicultural country, so there are a lot of dating apps in the UK market to meet different people's needs, such as LGBT and even hookup apps. "To be honest, my two ex-boyfriends are all frequent users of the Tantan," she laughed, "but all were failed experience because I didn't meet people I really like." Many people said that those apps were used to find a one-night stand. The kind of people who used the apps, usually were called "fuck boys". They tended to deceived girls feelings in order to sleep with her. "What you can do is only be alert and take a very good care of yourself." she said. But she is sure that there are absolutely people who really want to fall in love with a partner could find them through dating apps. Some of her friends are in love and even got married with their partner they met through Tinder and Bumble (another popular dating app). "After staying in the UK for a long time, I've realized that many dating apps have people who want a one-night stand, but a hookup culture in foreign countries is normal, as long as you agree with safety," she said.

Jo was the first person in her friends circle who uses a dating app. She has been judged many times by her friends because her friends thought that it was dangerous and unreliable. But using dating apps in the UK is a normal thing. If she found that her friends in the UK use dating apps, she will share with them her experience. Close friends will even watch each other's match. "But I will never do this in China," she said.

There are many prejudices against the dating app in China, especially parents who worried that she will encounter bad people. "If my friends in China are using dating apps, generally, they are less willing to be known. But the British do not mind telling people that they use dating apps. I think it's because my friends in China are not very open about sex, and sex education in China still has a long way to go."

Cherry: Meet new friends in real-life are too cumbersome and nervous

Cherry [not real name] is an exchange student in the United States. She started downloading dating apps because her friends introduced them to her. She was in the US alone and wanted to meet new people.

In America, it's very common to find new friends through the Tinder. "Each person has a different purpose. Some are looking for a boyfriend or a friend, doing something of common interest," she said.

Usually, people who use it have a standard norm. When people ask for the first date, they will set the location in public, because it is safer. "Unless you want to know more about each other after, you can evaluate whether you can go to private places."

In the United States, it has become a popular trend for people to use dating apps. "I heard some American friends said that they rarely take the initiative to know friends in reality," she said. They think that meeting new friends in real-life are too cumbersome and nervous, so they tend to know friends through dating apps.

Chinese girls usually feel shame to tell someone they are using a dating app. "If I find someone using a dating app around, I don't have any special thoughts," she said. There are many ways to meet new people in modern society, everyone uses apps differently, the app itself is very neutral. "I am not too worried about using the dating app to be known by others, but my friends in China rarely use it, so I won't talk about it if they don't ask," she said.