‘The No-meal Family’

By Amy Fung, Precila Chau, Vanessa Chan, Wendy Wang

 

 

It was 7 pm on Monday; Teresa Man arrived at her empty home after school. Knowing that there will be no companions, she took out a regular takeaway menu, and sighed. Man has already been used to this way of living.
Does it matter if we have meals together as a family? Have you noticed the importance of having family meals together? How do you feel if suddenly you have to eat alone?
Owing to the rapid development of our society, everyone undergoes various kinds of pressure. Under great working pressure, people have less time to take care of their families, which leads to a social phenomenon of the “no-meal families” (無飯家庭).
“No-meal families” refer to those families which usually have no cooking at home, or even seldom have a meal together. Some of them may have their meals together with their family outside once in a while, some may choose to order take away, and most of them just have their meals separately among family members, although they do not intend to do so. The busy working schedule makes it difficult for them to accommodate different dining times of family members.
Man is a year four student whose parents work in mainland China and brother studies abroad, which makes her living a typical example of “no-meal families”. “As my family members seldom come back, I usually buy takeaway rather than cooking at home. After a tiring school day, sometimes I would choose to take a nap and skip the meal.” She also added that it is troublesome to buy materials and cook a meal for just one person and that’s why she prefers to buy the takeaway.
One of the major causes of the “no-meal family” and some other family problems is the huge change of woman’s position in society nowadays. Traditionally, Chinese women are responsible for taking care of all the housework and especially cooking for the family. Due to changes in modern society, it is common that women have their own occupations rather than stay at home and be housewives, as they are now better educated and have the ability to share the responsibility of earning money.

Loretta Wong, a mother of two children said, “Since I need to work on a rotating system, after working for a whole day I feel exhausted. Furthermore, I do not like cooking for the family at all because it takes plenty of time, effort and skills. Thinking about what to cook is also a big problem for me, so my family seldom eats together.” She added that because of the inflation of Renminbi, prices of vegetables and meat have increased a lot, which makes buying takeaway more economical.

Peter Thomas Zabielskis, assistant professor in the Department of Sociology, University of Macau stated that eating together is one of the most important parts of the family. Having meals together is a good channel for family members to share what happens in their days, which can even help to talk about problems and maintain a better relationship.

Many parents have the experience saying to their children, "What was school like today?" And the children would say, "No, nothing." It is not likely that children are necessarily going to sit down and start chatting. However, when families are having meals together, where people have nothing to do rather than eating and talking to each other, family members have a much greater chance to chat. Parents can find out a lot about their children's lives, as long as the TV is off.
On the other hand, Zabielskis added that it could also happen that families are having a meal together but not talking at all. Thus, having a meal together does provide a good opportunity for communication, but it is not good
communication by itself, it just depends on whether the family members want to
have a sharing or not. Research findings from the National
Research Center for Women & Family of the United States (NRC) in 2008 show that children who eat with their families have better relationships and often do
better in school, as well as having fewer problems with smoking, alcohol abuse or
drug abuse.
Anna Chiu, a kindergarten teacher, explained, "The 'no-meal family' shows more than just parents' lack of caring for children's meals, but also a lack of love and
caring for children's school life, education and their mental health. Having meals
together as a family, on the other hand, will pull the family together rather
than having parents do one thing while children do another. A scattered family is
not good for children's development. "
Zabielskis said that looking beneath the surface, the "no-meal family" is not only about eating together, it indicates a broader problem: whether family spends
time together. It doesn't matter who cooks and where to have meals, although
going out to eat is less comfortable and less intimate.
Due to their busy lives, people have their own schedules. They might have
difficulties to compromise a suitable dining time. In order to solve this problem, Zabielskis suggested that besides eating together, a family can have other arrangements, such as sports or shopping together. The most important thing is that family members can share time together.
Although Man has got used to having her meals alone, deeply in her heart, she yearns to have meals with her family. Even Man couldn't tell when she can accomplish the wish.